Tuesday, May 12, 2009

FUNNY HA HA

We're a full time working band, but we've been also been known to moonlight in the comedy world from time to time.

A world premiere, just for you. Our first acting gig, on the Jake & Amir show on CollegeHumor.com Pending on how it's received, we might just chuck the whole music gig and concentrate on acting.
You be the judge.

Sweet Baby Jesus Am I Tired

It's springtime in Pittsburgh. No rain today, the sun is actually out strutting it's stuff. We managed to miss a good part of the winter here at home, though it caught up with us several times on the road. 3 months of touring and we're back home. We're all keen on taking a break from one another but it won't last long. We begin recording with Derek next week. So one week off, that's all we get, but that's fine by us. Writing and recording new music is what we all live for. So you won't hear any complaints here.
The tour went by in a haze. So many "things" happen. But what to tell you, the reader? What would you be interested in hearing about? I've read tour diaries of other bands, you know, the ones that usually go something like this:

"We played Tuscon today. The show was amazing! A fan kept
calling out for us to play some older stuff, and we were
more than happy to oblige! Danny even got a chance to try
out his new jokes on the audience. Let's just say they need a little
fine-tuning! After the show, we hung out and talked with some of our
amazing fans. Always a pleasure! Later us and our tourmates,
Shining Time Station, hit up the local vegan Crackerjack buffet.
Archie ate so much brisket tofutti he almost puked! Luckily Randy
was taping the whole thing. He even caught Joey tying Jimmy's
shoelaces together! We jammed out on the new Coheed and Cambria
on the way to the Days Inn. Definitely a sweet album! I love those
guys, good friends from the Nintendo Fusion tour.


That is exactly what I don't want our blog to be. I have a big problem with how many bands talk to their audience. They talk down to them. I don't even like the word "fan". It denotes some sort of heirarchy between music-maker and listener. But where would any musician be without an audience? Even more importantly, this type of dialogue is FUCKING BORING! I don't want to hear about how awesome your life is, or the mundane habits of your wacky drummer. I want the nitty-gritty, the mishaps, the crazy shit that goes down when you're riding around our crazy-ass country in a van and frequenting nightclubs--those famous dens of ill repute. Maybe it's just us, but every night there's a different insane person getting up in our shit or at the very least unknowingly entertaining us with their crazy-talk while we load in.
Forget my made up tour diary above. I found a real tour diary from a band called All-Time Low, whom I've never heard but I have seen on the cover of Alternative Press. Enjoy:

Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt
squire so that he can put in some input....
Much Love,
Jack
--jbstar


Get the point? I'm sorry for the length of that, but I didn't write it. I planned on writing up some of my most memorable moments from our travels but this blog is too long as it is. Short and sweet, I say. Always leave the audience wanting more. I'll post some stories soon, I promise.
Oh and fyi, I swear on my unborn child's life that I wrote up my fake tour diary before I even found that real one. I just googled "tour diary rock" and it was one of the first ones that came up. Apparently boring tour diaries are all the rage.
Later,
Mark

Friday, May 1, 2009

A SNEAK PEEK AT THE TAKEOVER UK ON THE ROAD

It hit me like an electric surge. We don't have any pictures up from our nearly 3 month tour of the US. Well, I'm here to remedy that, and quick. I'd like to share with you, kind friends, a few snap shots of the many, many friends and fans we've been lucky enough to meet in our travels. Thanks again to all who helped. Enjoy.




Our surly but lovable bus driver Don. They say alcohol and guns don't mix, and they're right. Here Don celebrates his beloved Minnesota Timberwolves victory over the hated Utah Jazz.



Here's Alex, our touring sax player. Definitely an eccentric, but really one of the most down to earth Scientologists I've ever met. I'm not sure what's going on here as this was taken in late March at a Home Depot outside Des Moines, but what a smile, huh?



Ah, the lovely Lisa Baumgartner, treasurer of our Toledo, Ohio street team. Poor little thing, she's all tuckered out from stickerbombing the entire west side that day. Truly, she is without peer. One of us, whose name will be withheld, was lucky enough to get to know her in the biblical sense, if you know what I mean. The random girl in the foreground really fucked up this otherwise wonderful pic. Thanks lady.




Kurt, Josh's drum tech.




I think Derek, our bass player, took this one. Don't know much about what was going on here. I think this guy was one of the drifters our driver Don picked up down El Paso way. I swear I've seen that face on the back of a milk carton before. Moving on...




The bands that open for us usually aren't so great, but this one man phenom brought the house down in Phoenix. I forget the band name. Sadly things turned ugly backstage when his manager flew off the handle about how much he was getting paid and Josh had to put the sleeper hold on him and Razor's Edge his manager. Despite the fracas, we wish them nothing but the best of luck in the future. Oh the places you'll go!



Backstage at our record release party in our hometown of Pittsburgh.




Backstage, Boise, Idaho. Some of our European radio pluggers made it out to the show. What can I say, we like to party!



Finally, some kind folks who were nice enough to let us crash on their floor in Kansas City. They even let Derek share a trundle bed with their Uncle Jerome, the kingly white-haired gentleman and a true class act. He even made us his apparently famous Lasagna for breakfast the following morning. Thank you to all the kind, gracious folks who've given us shelter in our travels. You truly are kings without peer.

Well, that's it for now. We've still got a week or so to go until this tour is over. I'll be sure to post more pics when we get home and have time to sift through the wreckage.

Later,
Mark

Not 21? Not a problem!

we realize the majority of our shows on this tour have been 21+, so to make it up to you, we have been doing acoustic shows in the parking lot of the venues. thats right, kids, send a message, or just come on down a bit early, and we'll do up our set for you, campfire style. no reason age should stop you from joining in on takeover mania.

see you on the sidewalk,

josh

In It For The Money!!

We give our music away for free. I'm not talking downloads. I'm talking physical Cd's, the kind that are fronted by our record label whom we then have to pay back. We've been on tour since the middle of February and every night we announce from stage: "We've got free Cd's for all of you, just come over to our merch table after we play and we'll give 'em to you". Smart business plan? No. But really it's more important to us to get the music into people's hands than make a small profit. In an age where you can pretty much get whatever music you want for free, we figured why not? Instead of hoping people choose your album over a few more beers at the bar, we'd rather they go home with our CD. I know if I was in the crowd, I'd like a free CD from a touring band.
The reality is the internet is a wonderful thing. But it's also terrible as well. Music lovers are barraged with hundreds of thousands of bands, all vying for your attention. Myspace friend requests, advertisements, and don't even get me started on the tremendously lackluster bands gigging it out every night in some beer-stained watering hole every town across the country. I don't blame people for not wanting to give a band a chance. Hell, I'm like that myself most of the time. It's a tiring and grueling process, separating the wheat from the chaff. But we figured if you like pop music, there's a good chance you'll enjoy our songs. Thus we put it in your hands, no strings attached.
But Mark, didn't Radiohead give their last album out, pay what you want for it? Yes, friend they did, well the downloads at least. But they're also an arena size band that's been promoted by EMI for the bast 15+ years. This is our debut album. We're slugging it out like thousands of other bands, competing for your, dear friends, attention.
So you give your music away for free, you might say, Big deal, you could download it for free anyway. And you'd be right. That's why I'd also like to announce that once we finish this tour in a few weeks, we're gonna hunker down here in lovely Pittsburgh and record a mini-album and then...wait for it... give that away for free too. I hope no one from the label is reading this! We've got a whole slew of new songs and we can't wait to record them and get it out there to you, the world. If I don't say so myself, I think you'll enjoy it.
Since alot of our shows are 21+, we've decided to play for free for those too young or lacking fake ID's. Outside every show, we're offering to play a free acoustic set for any and all comers. Free Free Free!!! Where does the madness end?
So come on out and see us play, you'll get a free CD out of it. And they say there's no such thing as a free lunch?

Later,
Mark

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Does Anybody Actually Read This?

"Don't be yankin' on my doors"
The graveyard shift mini-mart employee, surly as can be, fixes Nic with a death stare.
Welcome to Portland Oregon. It's 2 AM and pissing down rain and we've just played a show down the street and Nic's trying to buy some beer to take back to our hotel, just around the corner. The doors to the cooler remain locked. The minimart guy ain't budging. "You think you can come in here and just yank on my doors? Get the fuck out of here!" Stupified, as Disturbed would say, Nic walks back out to the van and hands me the money, warning "Don't yank on the cooler doors. The clerk is crazy".
I go into the store, walk back to the beer cooler, gently try the door, see that it's locked and turn to the clerk. "Is it too late to buy beer?" He looks me up and down. "No"
A few seconds of eternal silence. The store is empty, save the two of us.
"How do I access the beer then?"
More silence. Then...
"You need the key"
"How do I get the key?"
"You come over here and give me your I.D. I give you the key"
This guy is pissed, fuming under his breath. I slowly walk to the counter and give him my passport. He hands me a key chained to a slop bucket. He leans over the counter and gives me the same death stare Nic told me about. "Don't be yankin on my doors". His voice is low and gravelly.
I unlock the cooler, grab the Pabst, relock the door, and take it back to the counter.
"You ain't buying this for that guy that was just in here yankin' on my doors, is you?"
"What? Nah, man. I'm by myself", I lie. He looks at me as if I might be the man that dropped him on his head when he was a child.
"Good, you better not be. Cause that guy was a douchebag, comin in here, yankin on my doors and shit"
He rings me up and I skidaddle the fuck out of this surreal minimart.
"That guy really doesn't like you", I tell Nic. "He called you a douchebag".
"Me a douchebag! That guy is seriously disturbed", Nic says in disbelief.
We drive up to the doors. The guy is looking out the window. I roll down the window and hold up the beer, smiling. Nic gives him the finger. "Douchebag!"
I've never seen a man's face turn so red in anger so fast. We peel out of the parking lot, just as king shithead comes running out of the store.
What would have happened if we hadn't left? God only knows. Despite this, I still love Portland. Just don't be yankin' on anybody's doors.

Corrollary

After our show in Lincoln Nebraska. Gas station. I go in to get something to drink. I need to use the bathroom, but there's and out of order sign on the door. Skinny, meth-head looking clerk rings me up as he talks on the phone. The van is still being gassed up and I really need to relieve myself. I scan the perimeter, weighing my options. I walk around the store, the clerk watching me through the window. There's a huge dumpster and a vacant parking lot behind it. Ghost town. 1 AM. Tuesday night.
The ground is wet, it's just rained. I take care of business quickly and start back to the van. The clerk rounds the corner and walks toward me.
"You just piss on my dumpster?" He stares at me with glassy eyed suspicion. I notice scabs all over his face, taking the emphasis off his rotted teeth. Give me a fucking break.
"What? Nah, man", I lie again. I seem to to say that alot, especially when accused of dastardly deeds. But actually I didn't piss on "his" dumpster, but the ground, which is wet anyway.
"I'm gonna check. You better not be lying", he says and starts off towards the dumpster. I scurry to the van.
"Can we get the fuck out of here" I tell the guys.
"Why? What happened?"
"I'll tell you once we leave, but please, let's just go. This guy is fucked up"
Happily, we prepaid for the gas and Nic has to go back inside to get our change, which he does quickly and returns to the van, looking at me quizzically.
"What did you do?"
I explain.
"Well, that guy just told me he called the cops on you"
Like I said, can we just get the fuck out of here.
Now I know my actions weren't very classy, but back the fuck up man, I'm tired and weary and the bathroom was broken and I didn't even piss on the dumpster. And besides it's not "his" dumpster. What's up with all these minimart clerks and their false sense of propriety. I worked at a bagel shop before, but it certainly didn't lead me to believe that the place was mine. Sheesh.

ten minutes later, highway outside of town. 2 police cruisers, lights flashing, the four of us lying on the wet pavement, hands behind our heads, batons digging brutally into... JUST KIDDING!

You wish,
Mark

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Things I've learned So Far This Tour

1. Priceline = no more Motel 6
2. SXSW is still kind of worth it even if you play one set and it's 17 minutes long.
3. White Sands, New Mexico is incredible, especially at dusk. (Wait till we get some pics up. It looks like we're walking around in Antarctica with tank tops on.)
4. Des Moines is still my least favorite city in America--although we did meet some cool folks this time around.
5. David Cross is a swell guy, and enjoys hugs and the flavor of Mark's hand.
6. Wavves' new album is not available in Wal-Mart.
7. I need an i-Pod and a laptop right quick.
8. "The Sound and the Fury" is impossible to read while "Songs for the Deaf" is blasting on the stereo.
9. The Saltan Sea is kind of gross, but the drive from there to San Diego is beautiful. The landscape changes every 15 minutes. It goes; desert, badlands, Kenya, Switzerland, Pennsylvania, California.
10. Don't ever get your car fixed at Pep Boys. It's an auto parts store. Think about it.
11. Courtyard Marriott's have computers in the lobby.

Nic