INTERVIEW WITH MEGA METH!

Make sure you check out the intro below, you'll get a better understanding of where we are coming from...



Names:

Bovice: The name is Bovice

Orpheous: Well I'm Orpheous, a.k.a Gak Daddy. Orpheous is my birth given name.


Age:

Bovice: None of yer bizness

Orpheous: 47 years/8 months/3 days/16 minutes and not one second sober.


What do you do for a living?

Bovice: I'm on disability from the government. Broke my back. I'd rather not talk about it.

Orpheous: I work at a recycling plant. I collect the cans all day and they recycle them. Usually get a 5 spot for each Ruffie's bag I fill up.


So when did megameth start?

Bovice: Yer gonna have to ask Shithead. Ha ha! That's my nickname for Orpheous. I can't remember shit

Orpheous: Haha, crazy fucker, we were at a Rusted Root concert at the Point, probably around 1997, and we were totally inspired...not by them, but by this dude who was catching fireflies during their set. We went up to him, he was blown out of his mind, he told us his name was OshKosh B’gosh, but also went by Father Time. We went and got a few fresh squeezed lemonades, a corndog, smoked a massive amount of meth (this was our first time), stole his wallet and came back home and thought it would be hilarious to translate our evening into a song.


How come you guys have never played a show?

Bovice: None of us much like crowds. Myself, I get nervous as all shit when I'm in a room with more than 5 people in it. I get the shakes.

Orpheous: HA! You always get da shakes! And it ain’t got nuthin to do with crowded roomz! But in answer to your question, the thought crossed our mind, but after 6 some years of doing meth, like Bovice said, we developed a phobia of crowds. And really, there just isn’t enough Meth in the world to make that go away.


So what kind of music are you into?

Bovice: Pantera! That's what I'm squawkin about. Dimebag Darrell R.I.P. If I ever get my hands on that shithead that capped him! Boy, you don't wanna be there!

Orpheous: I can dig me some Pantera, but best band ever, hands down, Molly Hatchet. Lately ive been listening to some Deep Purple, George Clinton, and the Adam Sandler Comedy CD with that fucking goat. You remember that goat? “Yo goat, you got some kinda knot on your head” then the goat says, “What? Yeah, you better KNOT mention that again you fucking cocksucker”. Priceless.


Whatever happened that night all the police and fire department came to your apartment above ours?

Bovice: I don't remember much but I'd guess it had something to do with our lab. Shit, it catches fire seems like every other day now. Good things none of us got any damn kids running around!

Orpheous: Yeah I mean, it was just some big misunderstanding. We were recording Meth Train, and you know our old landlord reddy? That crazy fuck, he called he police because of the noise. The fire department was there because BoHam measured the batch of meth wrong, and POOF! Luckily we were all outside getting arrested when that went down! As the cop car pooled away, BoHam is running after the cop car screaming “IM SORRY! IM SORRY I BLEW UP OUR HOUSE!” I think he had a beaker in one hand and a pack of Chesterfields in the other. It was hard to see. Crazy dude.


What were the circumstances with you guys getting evicted?

Bovice: Again, it all comes back to our meth lab. (this ain't gonna be read by no police is it?) uh I mean no comment

Orpheous: Also because Reddy tried joining the band, we sent his ass back across the courtyard. 2 weeks later we’re at the Magistrate.


Favorite movie?

Bovice: Chariots of Fire

Orpheous: Grizzley man! SHIT!


Favorite book?

Bovice: Anything by Steve King. I love that fucker!! Spooky shit.

Orpheous: Hatchet, that dude is the dude!


Have you ever seen the takeover uk live?

Bovice: Who? Nah man I ain't into that shit

Orpheous: Nah Vice, remember that one time we went to that shanty Brillo Box and tried getting in telling them we were on the guest list, but they weren’t havin it? So we offered them some meth (thinking were in Lawrenceville, who DOESN’T do hard drugs there?) but then they called the cops. We got to hear about 2 and a half songs from outside the bar before the cops rolled up with the ATF. What a fucked up night that was…


Why do you still wear Jenco Jeans? Aren't they a little out of style?

Bovice: Well I only had one pair of pants for a long time. I ain't wearing 'em anymore. I got me some Hanes Her way sweatpants. Stole 'em from my grandma. Ha Ha! God rest her soul

Orpheous: I wear em’ cuz they got them huge pockets man. Do your Levi’s got pockets than can hold methamphetamine cookbooks?


What got you into music in the first place?

Bovice: Who said I was into music? I'm into Megameth man! Shit, it's a way of life

Orpheous: Exactly, its more like gang type shit. But for me? I realized that If I was really really fucking high, that music just sent that high fucking 10 times farther…It’s all about trying to reach that “Ultimate High.”


Where do you see yourself in five years?

Bovice: Shit that's an easy one. Dead or in jail! Shit! Ha ha!

Orpheous: Yeah, Hopefully Dead. I don’t think my body can take much more of this. With AIDS and just about every other STD in the book, my recreational drug use should hopefully just put an end to my life…


What's the goal for Mega meth?

Bovice: Just one day at a time cuz. Ya know, I mean, shit, I'm just trying to cook up this new batch of shit before it explodes again. My body can't take no more burn marks. Charred flesh don't feel so hot! Get it, hot! Shit!

Orpheous: Oh hell no they don't, I got burns in places you wouldn't believe! But our goal...hmm...just getting our name out there on the Internet. We tried posting comments to Queens of the Stone Age, but they never replied. All we want is to tour with them. Not really, they blow, but I’m sure they got some good drugs we can steal off them.


Have you ever tried to quit using drugs and alcohol?

Bovice: Ha ha ha! Shit no!

Orpheous: Haha, The only time I really ever put any thought into that, is when I’ve been carted off to jail. But the thought was “How the hell am I gonna quit using drugs and alcohol?”


How many times have you been to jail?

Bovice: Now that's none of yer goddamn bizness Mark or Mac or whatever the fuck yer name is. Shithead

Orpheous: Me? 27 times for anything ranging to possession, simple assault and rape. But I’m currently on house arrest. One time we let our dog eat my bracelet we threw him on an ongoing train. The 5.0 came and said that I was supposedly in Youngstown Ohio. I ended up getting taken to the State Pen and had to serve 6 months for that. Worth it!


If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Bovice: Candyland, but only instead of candy, the trees were made of crack or glue or some other shit. Whatever man that's a dumb fuckin' question, shithead

Orpheous: Elba, that place they carted Napolean off to. Or Intercourse, PA. Crazy Amish broads running amuck.


Let's say you win the powerball for 100 million bucks, what would you do with the money?

Bovice: Man, what the fuck do you think I'd do with it. Feed the hungry...only not food, but crank or dust!

Orpheous: Right on! I’d like to start a slew of burlesque houses and bunny ranches. Plus get a straight connection with the Meth lords themselves.


What do you think of our president, George W.?

Bovice: I think he's an alright guy. He just gets a bum rap. I heard somewhere he used to blow tons of rails and slam like a fifth of jack a day. Sounds like an ok guy.

Orpheous: I heard that too!! I mean people gotta stop givin him so much shit. All he wants to do is protect our god damn country and serve God. I used to think god was bullshit, but I’m a born-again.


What's the solution to the war in Iraq?

Bovice and Orpheous: KILL EM’ ALL!


Boxers or briefs?

Bovice: I'm a commando man. Shit, that shit costs money.

Orpheous: I tend to rock the Man-kini


And lastly, what did you do with Ian's DVD collection we know you guys
stole?

Bovice: You never told us where you guys moved to. I'd like to come see your new place, me and orpheous. Shit man.

Orpheous: But we did take that shit to the Record Exchange!! Sorry Ian!